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Duffel Blog Presents: Mattis vs. Norris
Right-Click here to download the full-size poster (1600×1760) to print it out and hang it in your shop or make it your desktop background.
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Sailor Spontaneously Combusts After Cutting Across Grass In Uniform
NORFOLK, VA – A sailor at Naval Station Norfolk spontaneously burst into flames yesterday, according to multiple witnesses. The sailor was moving to the Bachelor Enlisted Quarters when he suddenly and...
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The Disco Casualty That Became A War Hero
I asked if he ever talked about it. Stu Stanley shook his head no. Did they find out anyway? “Always.” Maj. Stu Stanley (Ret.) grew up in Brooklyn, New York. From an early age he knew that he had a...
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War On Terror Just Inception-Induced Dream Of Honduran Immigrant Named Jose
INCEPTION — Today, the modern American understanding of the global war on terror was shattered. While many Americans falsely believe the amorphous international conflict to be the result of the...
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Are You There God? It’s Me, 1st Sgt
The following is a prayer by your Company 1st Sgt. Dear God, whose command is over all and whose love never fails, please let me just this once get a full night of sleep and not have to take any...
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Obama Ratifies SOFA By Marrying Afghan President’s Daughter
KABUL, Afghanistan — President Obama is set to marry Roxanne, daughter of recently-elected Afghan president Ashraf Ghani Ahmadzai, fulfilling the final terms of the new Status of Forces Agreement...
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CO Mystified Troops Aren’t Enthusiastic About Holiday-Themed Moto Run
HQ, Your Unit— The Regimental Commander is utterly perplexed as to why his troops aren’t excited to participate in a holiday-themed motivational run planned before the Christmas 96 this season, sources...
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‘I Weep For Our Nation,’ Remarks Fly On Wall At Navy Basic Training
GREAT LAKES, Ill. – From his withdrawn perch on the bulkhead, Solomon B. McFly reported that he was suddenly overcome by a pervasive and unremitting wave of sorrow as he observed “the undisciplined...
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美国和中国同意的友好仇恨
(English) RANCHO MIRAGE（兰桥米拉市）, CA （加州）—— 在中美周五的双边对话之后，巴拉克·奥巴马和习近平发布了联合声明，声明中阐述了一系列的原则，包括：两国完全不赞同对方对基本上所有问题的处理方式；双方除了经济上的纠结不断以外，没有共同利益；双方将继续在所有较量中动用任何手段来破坏对方。...
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Brewers To Help Veterans With $100 Million In Beer Commercials
GLENDALE, Ariz. — Brewers across the country will be pulling out all the stops to “give back” to veterans this weekend, according to NFL sources. Budweiser has announced 6 different, 30-second ads for...
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Deployment Speed Dating Clears Air, Speeds Rejections
CAMP VICTORY — A speed-dating event sponsored by the Female Service Member’s Roundtable was held Tuesday at the MWR tent. “Many people were surprised that the Female Service Member Roundtable would...
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LEAKED: The Training NCO Creed
Every enlisted recruit learns the “Rifleman’s Creed” at Marine Corps boot camp, but only the best-of-the-best in the Marine Corps — the Training NCOs — are bound by their own creed. This solemn vow has...
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Sir, Somebody Called For You And It’s Urgent You Call Back. No, I Don’t...
YOUR ORDERLY ROOM — Sir! I’m glad you’re back. While you were out, there was an important phone call for you. It’s vital that you call them back right away. Who was it? Ah…well, I’m not sure I...
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Yankee Candle Company Unveils New Line For Veterans
SOUTH DEERFIELD, Mass. — Yankee Candle Company announced a new line of limited edition candles for veterans today. The “Thank You For Your Service” line will be displayed in a decorative ammo can,...
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SECDEF: This Canada Day, We Are Totally Over War Of 1812
By Secretary of Defense Ashton Carter On behalf of the United States of America and the Department of Defense, I wish our partners in North American defense a very Happy Canada Day. We have long stood...
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Terrorists Clamor To Apply For US ‘Power Vacuum Sweepstakes’
THE PENTAGON — Terrorist groups around the world will no longer wait in suspense to learn if their regimes will be toppled for them by the United States, allowing their otherwise under-supplied and...
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War On Terror Just Inception-Induced Dream Of Honduran Immigrant Named Jose
INCEPTION — Today, the modern American understanding of the global war on terror was shattered. While many Americans falsely believe the amorphous international conflict to be the result of the...
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Are You There God? It’s Me, 1st Sgt
The following is a prayer by your Company 1st Sgt. Dear God, whose command is over all and whose love never fails, please let me just this once get a full night of sleep and not have to take any...
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Obama Ratifies SOFA By Marrying Afghan President’s Daughter
KABUL, Afghanistan — President Obama is set to marry Roxanne, daughter of recently-elected Afghan president Ashraf Ghani Ahmadzai, fulfilling the final terms of the new Status of Forces Agreement...
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